Do people-pleasers have low self-esteem?

Do people pleasers have low self-esteem?

Introduction

We all know at least one person that instantly comes to mind when you hear the term “people-pleaser,” and if you don’t, then chances are that you might be a people-pleaser.

Let’s start by making the distinction between being a nice and generous person and being a “people-pleaser.”

This article aims to look at “people-pleasing” and see if there is any sort of connection to having low self-esteem.

Do people pleasers have low self-esteem?

People-pleasing is a real thing.

It’s not just that you’re being too nice to people, or being overly accommodating to their needs and wants.

People-pleasing is a personality trait—it’s part of your identity as an individual, and it defines how you approach the world around you.

People who are people-pleasers are often anxious about what others think of them, so much so that they end up putting other people’s needs and desires before their own to avoid criticism or conflict.

They feel like if they can make everyone around them happy, then maybe those people won’t judge them for disappointing them (or for not being perfect).

In many cases, this can result in low self-esteem—after all, if all your self-worth comes from others’ approval of you, then what happens when those other people don’t approve of something?

People-pleasers can have low self-esteem, but it’s not the only reason for their behavior.

While it’s true that people-pleasing can be a sign of low self-esteem, it’s also important to remember that many other things can cause someone to become a people-pleaser.

For example, if you grew up in a household where your parents were constantly criticizing you and making you feel bad about yourself, then, of course, you’re going to feel like your needs aren’t important or valid.

Or if you’ve been feeling anxious about something for a long time and people-pleasing is one way of coping with this anxiety (for example, by trying to always make everyone else happy), then obviously, your behavior isn’t necessarily an indication of low self-esteem.

People-pleasers do tend to have lower levels of confidence than non-people-pleasers, but this doesn’t mean they don’t love themselves or think highly enough about themselves; rather, it means that these people often experience negative thoughts about themselves when they’re under stress or pressure from others’ demands (which makes them more likely than non-people pleasers are).

In short:

• People who are aware of their own worthiness may still put others first sometimes—it’s just part of being considerate human beings! The goal here is not necessarily perfectionism but rather balance between taking care of ourselves while also making sure we give our loved ones what they need without neglecting ourselves along the way.”

Other factors that contribute to people-pleasing.

If you’re a people pleaser, there are some things you can do to help yourself.

If your problem is severe enough, talk to a therapist about how you can change your habits.

The first step is telling yourself that it’s okay to say no sometimes.

Start small: tell one person no, you don’t want to go out with them this weekend.

If they get mad at me for saying no?

Take a deep breath and harden your resolve to stick to your answer.

After that, work on building up your self-esteem so that when someone asks something of you, it’s less likely they’ll manipulate or guilt trip, and more likely they’ll be able to see the situation from all angles before assuming what would be best for both parties involved (including themselves).

Remember, this isn’t about learning to become a jerk, this is about learning to stand up for yourself and not allowing everyone to take advantage of you.

ALSO READ: Page of Pentacles as feelings

Low self-esteem is related to people-pleasing, and vice versa.

People-pleasing is often a way to avoid conflict.

The people pleaser may worry about what others think of them and feel like they have to be perfect to be liked.

For you to make your peace with being a people-pleaser, it’s important that you understand where your need for approval comes from.

In most cases, low self-esteem or insecurity can lead someone to be willing to please others at the expense of their own needs.

If you come from an abusive family or experienced trauma as a child, this could also contribute to making you susceptible to becoming a people pleaser.

ALSO READ: Queen of Pentacles as feelings – meaning

There are many ways to overcome people-pleasing behaviors.

There are many ways to overcome people-pleasing behaviors.

• Listen to your inner voice and trust it. Your inner voice will tell you when something doesn’t feel right or when someone is asking too much of you. Pay attention to the red flags that come up, even if they’re subtle. If a situation feels untenable or overwhelming, do something about it!
• Don’t feel guilty about not pleasing everyone. Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to say no—and then move on with our lives! When someone permits us to do this, it’s often liberating and refreshing; we suddenly feel free from obligation and stress!
• Don’t feel guilty about saying no sometimes (or even most times). It’s okay for people-pleasers to have their own opinions and desires as long as these desires don’t hurt anyone else in any way—or at least not anyone who doesn’t deserve being hurt by them!

Conclusion

If you’re a people-pleaser, it can be hard to admit and address the issue. But if you’re ready to stop, there are lots of ways to do so.

First, recognize that people-pleasing isn’t always caused by low self-esteem—it can also be tied into other issues and behaviors like codependency or overcompensation for past trauma.

However, if your people-pleasing habits are related to low self-esteem, then it’s important to seek out support from others who understand what you’re going through, whether it’s from a professional therapist or a close friend that is really good at listening.

ALSO READ: Ace of Swords as feelings – meaning